Friday, May 21, 2010

How long after a person loses a pet should they be surprised with a new pet?

My co-worker had to put her cat to sleep the other day, it's spleen was overgrown and there was nothing they could do. It was a young cat, about 4 years old? She has another one, too. They grew up together, and now there's a single lonely cat. It's just my co-worker and the one cat now in that house. The rest of us at work were thinking of getting her a kitten as a surprise to both of them. What's good timing-one week? Two weeks? Never?
Answers:
Never. Find another way of showing that you care. It is great that you care.

Unless you know for sure she wants a new cat, don't push it on her. I had a cat and I had a dog. They both died. If my coworkers ever decided to give me a new dog or cat I'd seriously ask them to take the poor animal back where it came from. I don't want a new pet. Pet is a responcibility.

Another thing is - cats are not "lonely". It is humans who projecttheir feeling on animals decide that they are lonely. Cats are territorial. Bringing a new cat will be stressful to an old one. They do get used to each other, but it is a sressful process for them.
If she wants another pet she'll get it herself, it can b annoying if someone suddenly givs u a pet u wnt thm to liv for ages so if she dnt wnt one its nt a gud idea.
Never. Let her heal and grieve in her own way and in her own time. Then, when she is ready, she should select another pet (if she chooses.)

I know that you care about her . there are some nice books out there about losing pets . how about that and a nice card and a nice frame for a photo?

Purrrrrrrrr
I appreciate that you want to do something nice for your coworker and her cat but no animal should ever be given as a gift. Your coworker will know when and if the time is right for another cat and she will get one herself. It has to be her decision. If you give her a kitten before she is ready you are setting the cat up for failure.

If you all want to do something nice for her make a donation to the local animal shelter in the name of the cat she had to have put to sleep.
Never. What if she doesn't want another cat? Get her a male stripper instead.
Maybe a month.give her time to grieve for her lost friend..
Wait until she mentions that she thinks it might be time for her to get a new one. Don't make that decision for her. It may be that she decides to be a one cat woman for awhile.
It all depends on the person. Listen for clues as to what she would want. If she was very close to the cat she may need time to grieve for her loss. If she makes remarks like, my other cat is so lonely and misses her buddy, she may be ready for another cat. And so might the other cat. Good luck and god bless for caring for your co-worker in such a great way
anyway.dont listen to those bitter old hens.

thats very nice of you guys/galz.its a great gift!..two weeks is perfect timing.
If she is having a hard time with her kitty's death, I would not surprise her with a new cat. When my cat died I had to take 4 years until I was ready for a new one. I don't really think it's a good idea, and usually people like to pick out their own pets. Give her her time and space.
yeah, so surprising a coworker w/ a new pet might not be a good idea. Infact giving a pet as a gift period isn't a good idea. Don't you think the person that is going to live w. the cat for possibly the next 15 yrs or more, should pick out the animal herself. Nice thought. Maybe give her a gift certificate to an animal shelter. or give a donation to an animal shelter/ rescue in the cats name. Or perhaps get a nice plaque/ headstone for the cat. OR just be supportive. She might never be ready for another one to replace that cat.
You are obviously a very caring and tender-hearted person. If only there were more like you. However, going by my own experience, a guardian who loses a pet needs some time to properly grieve - consolidation all those fond mmories of the beloved one and just plain old crying. ALL a grieving person's energies will be concentrated on coming to terms with his or her loss and presenting him or her with a new pet to take care of is simply not wise at this time. Allow a few months! MONTHS! not weeks. Somtimes it takes years to get over the loss of a beloved pet companion. It was 3 years bfore I was ready to look after another cat.
I recently lost the best dog I've ever known. all who knew her were amazed with every thing about her, as was I. but how our worlds met was a freak coincident and a long story. one thing's for sure,at only 4 weeks old she definitaly found me. I don't know if this helps or not but I think any one can own or give a pet..but to find a companion, that just kinda happens. good luck and you'll be able to tell when she's ready
It would be best if she picks out her own. She may not be ready for a while. A sympathy card signed by all of you would let her know you care, maybe a small box of treats for the remaining cat along w a box of chocolates (or something she would like) for her. Ya'll can get together and present her a gift card or a few things for her new arrival when she decides it's time to add to her family. Some folks go out and find a new kit right away-some need time to heal up a bit.

Wonderful of ya'll to be thinking of her!!
useally a couple mounthes depending how close u were to that animal and how much u loved it may take longer than a month but u well come over it and another pet well make u fell the same way u felt about that cat
There are two excellent reasons why you should NOT do this: the first is the person who has lost the cat and the second is the cat who has lost its companion.

You and your friend's other co-workers are very sweet to want to help your friend recover from her loss. The period for grieving is different for different people and she needs time to recover from such a tragic and unexpected death.

The introduction of a kitten to the four year old cat remaining would be unbelieveably stressful for the cat who also needs time to grieve the loss of her friend and companion.

Cats, or any animal, should not be given as "presents". When you feel your friend is ready, offer to go to a shelter with her for an afternoon to meet the cats for adoption there. I have been in cat adoptions for ten years. The bond between the new cat and the adopter can be almost instantaneous and the two make the most loving and lasting relationship possible. If you and your other friends wish to make a "gift" of the adoption fee that would be a very nice gesture and the CHOICE should be your friend's.

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